Parenting Dilemmas

I took a small break from the chaos of motherhood and household chores to enjoy my tea. While relishing my tea, I started reflecting on my parenting style and my own childhood. I began to think about what I could do differently for my growing up children.

Should I let them do their own chores like getting ready on time, packing their bags, taking responsibilities of their homework? Or should I give continuous instructions, reminders and follow-up until they finish? If I keep doing things for them, how will they ever learn? What will be the better way to help them practice and become better at managing time and being responsible? I don't want to complain about they not doing things when they turn 21,.

Should I give them freedom to express their thoughts without any fear of judgement and make small decisions, or ask them to follow our decision, what we think is the best as parents? If we as parents make every small decisions for them , how will they learn to take bigger decisions in life? What will help them to understand themselves better and learn to look at different perspectives in life? And I don't want my children to think later stage in their life that they are living their parents' decisions.

Should I let them explore and experience the different dimensions of life even if it comes with some risks at times, or wrap them in a safety net of parents all the time? What will be the best approach for their holistic development and growth? Sometimes, I feel if I have learnt or experienced certain things life in my growing up years, my life would have been different.  

Processing the parent dilemmas is ever evolving but never ending. But one thing I realized is that how I was parented was relevant in those times but that style of parenting is kind of irrelevant in today's world. Maybe it is time to change. And I have to think differently and keep my parenting relevant to my children needs and their world.

I need to let them learn from their mistakes, involve them in household chores and family decision making by letting go of my own conditioning. They have to handle disappointments and discover joy and happiness in small things without money. They need to experience a safer and smaller version of real life, a mix of ups an downs and real world, a mix of goods and bads, for them to become better at their life choices. They need to learn how to hold on to who they are, while they make their space in the world. I always feel I need to keep my children happy all the time, but when I do that, I am taking away their real-life opportunities for emotional development and growth.

If I have them practice all these skills in their growing up years, they may be well prepared to handle the changes and challenges that adulthood may bring. I may not be able to make the future for my children but I can definitely try to give them skills that can help them adapt to whatever future may bring.