As parents, we want health, happiness and success for our children. Our aim is to build a strong foundation for their future. We work hard for their education, needs and wants. We define rules, regulation, traditions, rights/ wrongs, dos /don’ts for them to follow. We parent them in a way we were parented.
Being a parent is an extremely fulfilling experience, however it has become increasingly challenging and stressful. Conflicts are on the rise between parents and children, leading to emotionally disconnected relationships. Psychological challenges, depression cases, suicides rate and divorces are increasing around us. Young adults are struggling to make simple choices and decisions in their personal and professional lives.
Parents are in constant dilemma about what to do.
There are two parts of parenting, Nurture and Structure!
Structure is about direction, guidance, discipline and teaching values.
Nurture is about unfolding innate characteristics with unconditional love, support, and acceptance.
Parents focus on making their children “do things” and spend very little time and energy on nurturing their emotional needs. What do we do to take care of their emotional or psychological needs? We need to strike a balance between NURTURE AND STRUCTURE. Without nurturing the “BEING”, it is impossible to make anyone follow the structure.
1). Children begin to develop their understanding about relationships and world from 2+ years. The brain starts developing neuron connections based on the interaction with parents, immediate family members and teachers. The personality traits start to set in at very early stage of life. Discuss about the situations which were not handled mindfully. Apologize for your strong and hurtful reactions.
Be mindful. Do not react to bad behavior. Pause and respond to their underlying needs..
2) Observations are more impactful than spoken words of advice.
Be consistent in modeling routines, behaviors and values.
3). How good our children feel about themselves?
We unconsciously label our children for their behavioral or discipline issues. We name, shame or punish them damaging their self- esteem. Continuously highlighting their weakness, make them feel worst about themselves.
Do not judge them. Support them in their ups and downs. Build their self-esteem.
4). Children develop fear of failure in over protected environment. They will avoid taking decisions for themselves. Gaining age appropriate independence is significant developmental milestone. Help only when asked for. Give them freedom with responsibilities.
Children learn from their experiences either good or bad. Do not take way those experiences from them. This is the generation of experiential learners.
Failure is one step closure to success
5). “No one has seen future and no one ever will”. Let’s stop worrying about our children’s future. Live and grow with them every moment.
Nurture them and structure will be taken care of
Let our children become master of their own mind and heart. Let them learn to balance mind and heart to thrive in ever changing world around them.
Post written by Chaitali Shroff,Co-founder, Holistic Education and Adaptive Learning(HEAL) Foundation
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